You Can't Always Get What You Want...but

One thing that brings great joy to me every day is to give my children what they need. It is a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. I do all can for them because I love them so, but I don't want them toned me forever. I know one day I will be gone, and I want them to be able to take care if themselves when that day arises. Something that I have been working on with them is to ask when they want something. Often they will walk around kicking their shoes against the ground with that look in their eye. I tell them that you will never know what you can get out of life if you do not ask. God is very similar, he wants to be there with you always. He wants to be your shoulder to lean on, your fountain of knowledge and place to receive the strength to get each day. I have known those that wish to choose God like an ATM or a genie. When we seek to serve ourselves for our own gratification God recommends the opposite and will stand aside if we insist, but he will serve us out of love if to spread love in a righteous way is our desire. He can see inside each one of our hearts and patiently waits for the day and hour when we realize that we not only need him but want him forever in our lives.

Sirach 42:15-25
15I will now call to mind the works of the Lord, and will declare what I have seen. By the words of the Lord his works are done. 16The sun looks down on everything with its light, and the work of the Lord is full of his glory. 17The Lord has not enabled his holy ones to recount all his marvelous works, which the Lord the Almighty has established that the universe may stand firm in his glory. 18He searches out the abyss, and the hearts of men, and considers their crafty devices. For the Most High knows all that may be known, and he looks into the signs of the age. 19He declares what has been and what is to be, and he reveals the tracks of hidden things. 20No thought escapes him, and not one word is hidden from him. 21He has ordained the splendors of his wisdom, and he is from everlasting and to everlasting. Nothing can be added or taken away, and he needs no one to be his counselor. 22How greatly to be desired are all his works, and how sparkling they are to see! 23All these things live and remain for ever for every need, and are all obedient. 24All things are twofold, one opposite the other, and he has made nothing incomplete. 25One confirms the good things of the other, and who can have enough of beholding his glory?

Mark 10:46-52
46And they came to Jericho; and as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great multitude, Bartimae'us, a blind beggar, the son of Timae'us, was sitting by the roadside. 47And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" 48And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent; but he cried out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" 49And Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." And they called the blind man, saying to him, "Take heart; rise, he is calling you." 50And throwing off his mantle he sprang up and came to Jesus. 51And Jesus said to him, "What do you want me to do for you?" And the blind man said to him, "Master, let me receive my sight." 52And Jesus said to him, "Go your way; your faith has made you well." And immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way.

Saying Goodbye or See Ya Later?

Saying goodbye is not an easy thing. Recently I had to say goodbye to some one that I loved very much. It was rather sudden and unexpected. Standing next to his bed he lay there unresponsive. I thanked him for all his lessons and everything that he had done for me and many others. This life is merely passing phase. Often I see this life as training wheels for the big show if one gets into heaven. It really stinks loosing some especially if it is in a tragic way. It's easy to get angry and to have the to shake your fist at God, but know this, he loves you. God wants you to love, that's it. It's really that simple. God wants you to love him for he loves you, and God wants you to love everyone you meet and treat them in a loving way. Heaven is a place of pure perfect love and God wants those there who can respect, foster and grow in love. We are given a lifetime here on earth to learn how to love the way God wishes. Sometimes I wonder if God doesn't take those we love unexpectedly for two reasons. One, because the person dying has done enough God merely wants to give them a big hug and bring them home to heaven. Two, God hopes that through their sudden departure those left behind will turn to him for comfort so that he can build a stronger relationship with us and we with each other as we look to fill that void and vanquish the pain. I am sure there are those that would think that makes God insensitive or reckless. My children love candy and they get very upset with me when I don't let them eat candy, but I know how much healthier and happy they will be when they eat a balanced diet. This life is merely a passing phase. True life is eternally in heaven. That is the prize that we should keep our eyes on. Those with much on this earth have a hard time seeing God's way for wrapping ourselves up in the worlds distractions keeps us from loving the way God loves, and so many that are first here may come last in the life here after.

Mark 10:28-31
28Peter began to say to him, "Lo, we have left everything and followed you." 29Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, 30who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. 31But many that are first will be last, and the last first."

Do You Love to Fight or Fight to Love

Probably one of the most taxing things I have to deal with as a father is infighting with my children. Generally it is a situation where tow or more are playing together and someone decides that they want to play something else or change the nature of how they are playing, and so an argument ensues. I sit them down and explain to them that they are family and that means it is important that they stick together. I tell them that together that can overcome any obstinate that might stand in their way, but divided very little can be succeeded. 

Christians are much the same way. My heart always breaks when I hear those that disagree on points of doctrine where the result is infighting rather than accomplishing something more wonderful and beautiful like sharing the word of Jesus and how his love can do so much for everyone. Recently I donated time at a food pantry. Having been raised Protestant and then converting to Catholicism it was immensely heart warming to see brothers and sister in Christ come together to do something wonderful and help the hungry. All donned with smiles we greeted each person with compassion and care. My oldest son who was hesitant in attending even shared that he had quite a fun time. For me it was like Christmas. In the season of the coming of the lord I always look forward to watching those I love open gifts that I got for them. I myself could get nothing at all and I wouldn't care. To see someone else's joy is a true gift to me, and so seeing the appreciative smiles on the faces whom we helped warmed my heart like a blaze the touched the heavens. I am no perfect man. Is am a sinner trying to do the best he can with Gods help, and the freedom and happiness I have I wish to share with all. Jesus wants us to love, both God and each other. For as the children of God together we can overcome anything but alone we often are left to be mere tumbleweeds rolling in the wind of the world.

John 17:20-26

20"I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, 21that they may all be one; even as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. 22The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that thou hast sent me and hast loved them even as thou hast loved me. 24Father, I desire that they also, whom thou hast given me, may be with me where I am, to behold my glory which thou hast given me in thy love for me before the foundation of the world. 25O righteous Father, the world has not known thee, but I have known thee; and these know that thou hast sent me. 26I made known to them thy name, and I will make it known, that the love with which thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them."

Never a Solo Artist

Being an artist is a tricky thing. I have this urge and desire to create. I hear music and stories in my head all the time, and to be honest it can be quite distracting. Over the years I have had to learn and tune it out or turn it off so that I can get work done. The really difficult thing though is to try and not give up. All my life I have had people tell me no or tell me that I need to stop and do other thing. It been a constant fight to stand up for what I have in side of me. My faith in God is much the same. Everyday the world tells me to eat whatever I want, to drink, have as much fun as I want, to spend all my money on what will make me happy, to take drugs and have as much sex that will make me happy. Problem is, it doesn't work. I know cause well, I tried it for a time. God is awesome cause he never leaves my side. Once I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and became baptized in the Holy Spirit he was with me. Have I still made mistakes? Oh yeah, but the cool thing is that Jesus is there waiting for me to realize my follies and is ready to teach me to avoid future mistakes when I am ready and when I ask. God doesn't jam anything down my throat. He does what he does when I ask him to join me. Many of my friends think that going to church is stupid. Thing is, I love going to Church cause when I do I get that dose of grace from God in Holy Communion. It helps me get through the week. The Church gives me the sacrament of confession and through that I get more grace to over come temptation. Through the sacrament of Marriage I receive more grace. Seven sacraments in all are at my disposal if I choose to accept them, and God is waiting to give them to me cause he loves me just like he loves you. God wants to shower you with love and grace but he is waiting for you to decide that is what you want. God wants you in the fold. He wants you in his family. He wants you in his Church. That's why he sent his son, in part to establish the Church for you cause he loves you and wants to help and protect you. All you have to do is accept and be open to learn and then experience a life full of love that never ends.

John 17:11-19
11And now I am no more in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to thee. Holy Father, keep them in thy name, which thou hast given me, that they may be one, even as we are one. 12While I was with them, I kept them in thy name, which thou hast given me; I have guarded them, and none of them is lost but the son of perdition, that the scripture might be fulfilled. 13But now I am coming to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. 14I have given them thy word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15I do not pray that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 17Sanctify them in the truth; thy word is truth. 18As thou didst send me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be consecrated in truth.

Are You Trying Go It Alone?

My children are mine. With my wife I shave brought them into this world. I feed them, provide drink, clothing, shelter and protection. When they are sick I do all I can to get them the comfort and care that they need. I love them so much that I would sacrifice my own life for them. I create house rules for them to follow, not to control them, but rather to help ensure that they grow safe and righteous so that when they leave me care they will be safe. God is the same way. He created you in his same likeness. He created a world that would provide all you need. He gave us commandments and created covenants with us to teach and protect us. He sent teachers through the prophets to instruct us how to live so that we could have happy full lives. Even when the world became lost he sent himself through his only Son, Jesus and died for you to save you so that you cloud have eternal peace and happiness in God's home, heaven. God loves you. He wants to commune with you. He wants to share in your greatest joys and be there for you in your darkest hours. Here on earth God wants those that choose to follow and believe him to stand strong together. That is why his Son Jesus came, in part, to to establish his Church. God wants you to keep the sabbath holy by communing with him, partaking in Communion and communing with your fellow Christians. It can be hard in this day and age where few can agree with anything, but God knows that when we come together and love as he taught we can create a glimpse of heaven on earth. That is why Jesus asked us to go out and proclaim the gospel, to share our faith and love, to work to bring all into the fold.


Gospel
John 17:1-11
1When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven and said, "Father, the hour has come; glorify thy Son that the Son may glorify thee, 2since thou hast given him power over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom thou hast given him. 3And this is eternal life, that they know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent. 4I glorified thee on earth, having accomplished the work which thou gavest me to do; 5and now, Father, glorify thou me in thy own presence with the glory which I had with thee before the world was made. 6"I have manifested thy name to the men whom thou gavest me out of the world; thine they were, and thou gavest them to me, and they have kept thy word. 7Now they know that everything that thou hast given me is from thee; 8for I have given them the words which thou gavest me, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from thee; and they have believed that thou didst send me. 9I am praying for them; I am not praying for the world but for those whom thou hast given me, for they are thine; 10all mine are thine, and thine are mine, and I am glorified in them. 11And now I am no more in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to thee. Holy Father, keep them in thy name, which thou hast given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.

Sometimes You Just Know

Sometimes I just get frustrated knowing something that I don't know for sure. Many a time in my teenage years I wold prepare to do something or actually do it and know that I was wrong. My gut would churn and I would think to myself, "man, if Mom was here right now she would get on me hard for doing this". If I completed a job and I was tired and just wanted to go home but saw that it was incomplete I could almost hear my father say, "well that's nice but when are you going to finish it?" My faith in God is much the same. Once I had a priest tell me, "if you find yourself looking around to see if anyone is watching you probably shouldn't be doing it." How right he was. I'll be straight up front with you though, am far from perfect. Bout the only thing that I am perfect at is being a sinner. I don't make nearly the same amount of mistakes that I once did or make the same kinds of mistakes, but on occasion for all my study and love of God I still mess up sometimes. God still loves me though. He sees that I try and that I confess my sins and try to get better pleases him. I believe in God because I have tested his ways. For many years I grew up with his word and when on my own I tested it. I fell miserably. Living a life that was dedicated to me, my will and ego I took sin for a spin. It was empty, lonely and cold. Nothing ever satisfied me. In desperation I came back to try and give that ridiculous God thing another try. I have never been happier.  Like I said I am not perfect, but even on my worst days I never feel as bad as when I was " living it up". After coming back to God I studied hard not only was I trying to follow the rules but I began serious study. The more I became a disciple of Jesus Christ, the more my life came into balance. The more I loved the way he asked the more my life became full and satisfying. That is my proof that Jesus is who he said he is for what he teaches shines so true and righteous. I believe that Jesus is the son of God and sits at his right hand for all that he has taught me is held true. I have had many mock me. I have had many laugh at me. I have had ones that " loved" me turn away from me because of my beliefs. It's okay, Jesus told me that it would happen. I have had people tell me that believing and following God makes you a slave, but I then witness the sorrow of those that remain shackled in their sin. I love them. I it's them for I once to knew the pain and emptiness of being free. Like I said I am far from perfect. I have no great knowledge and presume to tell anyone how to live, but I do know that choosing the path I am know on makes me more free and happy than I have ever been. For after seeing how the world judges Jesus for what he has taught know that I want the Holy Spirit by my side each and every day. For through Gods love I find a peace and freedom which helps me handle any challenge the world may throw at me.

John 16:5-11
5But now I am going to him who sent me; yet none of you asks me, `Where are you going?' 6But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts. 7Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: 9concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; 10concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; 11concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.

Once Lost but Now… Wait I’m Lost?

You know sometimes I get so wrapped up in a thing that I loose focus on what I am trying to do. I remember after graduating high school that being healthy and staying fit was very important. I often heard about the 15 lbs many freshman gain their first year in college so I was bound and determined to not fall prey to that possibility. One of the things that I decided to continue was running. I had a trail nearby and it would let me run all the way across town. Early one morning I laced up and headed out. It was beautiful day and the wind was to my back. I ran and ran and when I finally hit my limit I stopped, and then realized that I had to walk all the way back completely exhausted. Faith in God can kind of end up the same way as well. It is so easy to get wrapped up in how to dress, having a spotless car for the ride, packing toys or books and other distractions to keep the children in check during service that we loose focus on why we attend church in the first place. God wants your company because he loves you. Jesus instituted the Church so that we could have community to support us and each other, so that we could have a place to learn about God, his word and commune with his spirit. As a Catholic I find much solace in the fact that not only do we follow sacred scripture but also follow sacred tradition. Being raised protestant I have often seen and heard of churches being torn apart because a congregation disagrees on doctrine. And where once there stood one church now you have two. This may sound appealing but my concern is that the spirit of God's word is being distorted. God is consistent but it seems so many churches change their doctrine so that the church can "reach" the people rather than having the people learn to live God's way. When I think of that I ponder what it would be like if I let my children start making the rules in my house. Oh I am sure that they would be happy for a short bit, but at what cost? Whenever I have question on how to live anymore I go to mass. I find so much wisdom in all the teachings read from the bible. I find solace in the knowledge and traditions that result from apostolic succession. I encourage all to spend some time with God's word and to pray. God is here for us everyday and is ready to help those lost in the bustle of it all. He is already there he is just waiting for you to show up.

John 15:26--16:4

1526But when the Counselor comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness to me; 27and you also are witnesses, because you have been with me from the beginning.161"I have said all this to you to keep you from falling away. 2They will put you out of the synagogues; indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God. 3And they will do this because they have not known the Father, nor me. 4But I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told you of them. "I did not say these things to you from the beginning, because I was with you.

Don’t You Know Who I am?

If you love me, then you will do what I want. OUCH! Such sour words I have heard from time to time. They usually don’t come out that bluntly but it still stings nonetheless. I can recall when I was young and making such demands. Life can be hard and confusing because we are always in transition. As babies we are born and EVERYTHING is done for us, and as we travel through life and become older not only do we need to learn the merit of taking care of ourselves but also others in need. What can be even more frustrating is when we move into our later years we have to be humble to allow others to do for us again when we become unable. Know this, God loves you, but that doesn’t mean that he will just do whatever you want. And know that when you are in a loving relationship with someone it's not all take or all give but rather a two way street. God loves you like an awesome father but he has rules. You can choose to ignore them because he gave you free will but don’t be surprised if he comes a running when you are in dire straits and still don’t want to heed his commandments. Those crazy rules God has are for your protection. They can keep you out of harms way often and help you get out of trouble when you get in it. God even went so far to send his son to explain them. I encourage all to take a bit of time everyday and hangout with Jesus’s teachings. I know it sounds crazy, but after years of living out of bounds I find living according to God’s commandments is fulfilling and refreshing. I don’t nearly stub my toe on life as often as I once had. God loves to be there for you on your bad days but also remember that like a good friend he doesn’t just want to be called for help. Share your happiness with him as well, more than likely he was involved, and know that the closer you become with him the more you will feel that love and in return feel whole. 

John 15:9-11

9As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.