Sometimes You Just Know

Sometimes I just get frustrated knowing something that I don't know for sure. Many a time in my teenage years I wold prepare to do something or actually do it and know that I was wrong. My gut would churn and I would think to myself, "man, if Mom was here right now she would get on me hard for doing this". If I completed a job and I was tired and just wanted to go home but saw that it was incomplete I could almost hear my father say, "well that's nice but when are you going to finish it?" My faith in God is much the same. Once I had a priest tell me, "if you find yourself looking around to see if anyone is watching you probably shouldn't be doing it." How right he was. I'll be straight up front with you though, am far from perfect. Bout the only thing that I am perfect at is being a sinner. I don't make nearly the same amount of mistakes that I once did or make the same kinds of mistakes, but on occasion for all my study and love of God I still mess up sometimes. God still loves me though. He sees that I try and that I confess my sins and try to get better pleases him. I believe in God because I have tested his ways. For many years I grew up with his word and when on my own I tested it. I fell miserably. Living a life that was dedicated to me, my will and ego I took sin for a spin. It was empty, lonely and cold. Nothing ever satisfied me. In desperation I came back to try and give that ridiculous God thing another try. I have never been happier.  Like I said I am not perfect, but even on my worst days I never feel as bad as when I was " living it up". After coming back to God I studied hard not only was I trying to follow the rules but I began serious study. The more I became a disciple of Jesus Christ, the more my life came into balance. The more I loved the way he asked the more my life became full and satisfying. That is my proof that Jesus is who he said he is for what he teaches shines so true and righteous. I believe that Jesus is the son of God and sits at his right hand for all that he has taught me is held true. I have had many mock me. I have had many laugh at me. I have had ones that " loved" me turn away from me because of my beliefs. It's okay, Jesus told me that it would happen. I have had people tell me that believing and following God makes you a slave, but I then witness the sorrow of those that remain shackled in their sin. I love them. I it's them for I once to knew the pain and emptiness of being free. Like I said I am far from perfect. I have no great knowledge and presume to tell anyone how to live, but I do know that choosing the path I am know on makes me more free and happy than I have ever been. For after seeing how the world judges Jesus for what he has taught know that I want the Holy Spirit by my side each and every day. For through Gods love I find a peace and freedom which helps me handle any challenge the world may throw at me.

John 16:5-11
5But now I am going to him who sent me; yet none of you asks me, `Where are you going?' 6But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts. 7Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. 8And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: 9concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; 10concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; 11concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.