I love Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner, she is a person that seems to be a spokesperson now for a movement that has been rising in volume like car stereo slowly being cranked until the windows explode. When I say that I love Caitlyn it is not with a lustful passion, but with rather a compassion and understanding as a fellow in humanity. What she did does seem rather extreme. I can barely imagine how one would have to feel, how lonely and empty one would have to be to completely change their identity to someone of the opposite sex. My heart goes out to her. I pray that she finds God to fill that hole in her soul.
As a Christian, my brothers, sisters and I often get painted into corner. We are told that because we don't support same sex sexual relations that we are insensitive, moral hypocrites and are full of hate. We may try to explain why our view is what it is but as soon as our disapproval of same sex relations is heard the gates of understanding are shut and the drawbridge is raised. It seems that all who disagree with the traditional Christian point of view have Christians in crosshairs ready to pull the trigger. No matter how compassionate we explain our point of view we are assumed bigots and backward haters. I guess it is hard for some to understand that even though we do not agree with a lifestyle we still love those that partake in it. Therefore I know many that just keep their head down and move about their day not wanting any controversy. We just go about our day loving and praying. Our point of view goes largely unheard and the deafening silence is presumed acceptance and approval. Sad part about that outcome is that Gods love, passion and way is ignored or even unknown because it is not shared. The narrative that because we don't agree with same sex intimate relationships means we hate those that partake in and support such relationships thrives. I won't lie, I know that there are those in this world that for whatever reason, have a hate boiling in them over the idea of homosexual behavior. Maybe they were taught to believe that. Perhaps fear or misunderstanding is at the root of that hate.
Nonetheless it is wrong for a Christian to hate.
As a Christian I am a disciple of Christ. Following the discipline that Christ laid out for me I am to love God with all my mind, body and soul and to love everyone I meet as I love myself. Those commandments in and of themselves are not hard to follow. What makes it difficult is when my ego rears its ugly head and I start thinking with my will in mind instead of God's will in mind.
So why do we Christians have such a hard time with homosexual behavior? It's a fair question, as this debate unfolds I have heard many an advocate for same sex relations state that Jesus calls us all to love and accept each other. That is true, I am called to love and accept every person I meet. However that does not mean that I should condone everyone's actions that I meet. We have a saying as Christians, "love the sinner not the sin." That's rather pithy and doesn't explain that much. With deep personal feelings such as these it's a bit shrewd to just shoot from the hip. We are talking about people's deep feelings, passions and desires. I have complete respect for my brothers and sisters that have attractions to members of the same sex. I can only imagine the confusion, resentment and frustration I would feel if someone told me that I could not and should not love my beloved. It would be nothing less than horrible and that is far too mild a word for such a situation.
Part of the reason Christians have a problem with homosexual relations is because of the sex part, so what is sex for? Why did God give us the glorious gift of sex.
Wait, let me take a second for those that don't know me. It's important that you have and understanding of who I am so that you can understand where I am coming from. I am someone who was raised Methodist/United Church of Christ (Protestant Christian) then after coming of age I left the "Church" and over time left my faith. After spending many years in what I call the "dark" or in the "desert" I came back to my faith. After much thought,prayer and study I decided to come back to Jesus and became Catholic. Why, well that is a bit of a different story altogether but basically I have lived on both sides of the fence of faith.
So what is sex for? Being a Christian sex is a gift from God. Actually I believe everything is a gift from God. That's right, everything from my life, the ground below me and everything that surrounds me I believe is a gift from God to me and everyone on this planet. Sex is the gift from God so that two people can come together through marriage and have the opportunity to create life. That's a heavy thing to be able to bring a new life from scratch into this world. As a Catholic I believe that you should not even use contraception. Why, because it cheapens the act of sex. Sex to me is one of the most amazing things to experience on this planet. Not just the act itself, but also watching my wife bear children and seeing them born just blows my mind. By using contraception I would be getting in the way of God's will. It would be like me giving a car to my son so that he could drive to work and school and then he decides to get some alcohol and go cruising. I would be upset because he is taking my gift and using it in a way contrary to my will, or desire. What is frustrating to me and many of my Christian brothers and sisters is we see God's gift of sex being turned into something valued like a bag of chips. Use it, devour it and throw it away when you are done with it like it is nothing. Thing is we are talking about people, people with a soul and heart. Casual sex outside the confines of marriage is treating a man or woman like a thing to be used. We are not things to be used. We are human beings to be respected. As a Catholic I believe that all people are gifts on this earth even if they have lost their way. I am called by God to love all and help all that are in need. So sex is not to be used frivolously. Sex is to be saved for marriage. It is to be saved for that one special person that God calls me to love and spend the rest of my life with. If God so allows me and my wife to have children we are to raise them in his ways and respect and love our children for the gifts that they are. Sex is an animalistic desire ,but as humans made in the likeness of God we are called to be more than just an animal that runs the countryside mating with whomever we choose we are called to be something more, something disciplined, a child of God following the discipline of his son Jesus Christ.
So why then would God then allow homosexual tendencies to exist if everything is a gift from God? Well keep in mind that the greatest gift God gives us is free will. We can choose to follow God or not. Going way back when to Adam and Eve who created Original Sin by using their free will to disobey God by eating the apple they tainted us all. Let's not forget about Satan either. I usually suspect his hands in the mix whenever something exists contrary to God's desires. Make no mistake he wants to rule and with that, he wants to destroy everything that God has made and defile it in the process. Satan, wether you believe in him or not, hates you and wishes that you live a life of sin so that you will be cast into hell so he can torture you. That's why God sent his son Jesus to teach us and who asked us to share his teachings with the world till the end of time. Now I will not say that Satan and his minions posses everyone who live sinful lifestyles, but he has a part in trying to legitimize immoral behavior to make it easier to accept and easier to commit.
The cool thing is that God can use anything to good. He is like the master chess player and anything thrown into the mix he can use for good. I once was part of a discussion where the question came, "why do I have shortcomings?" Remember God is all about love and he wants us to love each other as we love ourselves. When I think about how we are all different, how some of us have vices others don't, and how some have disabilities that others do not I think of this piece of art I once saw. It showed two rooms in both where people trying to eat but all they had were spoons that had handles that were 5 feet long. In the first room everyone is miserable. They are all trying to eat but are whacking each other and poking each other cause the spoon handles are so long. Everyone is unhappy and looks like they are starving. In the other everyone is merry and well fed because they have learned to feed each other. To me that is the world. God calls us to love one another. If we were all "perfect" and had no vices, flaws or disabilities then we wouldn't need each other. In fact we might even think that we were Gods for our "perfection", but when we need each other it is easier to love each other. Jesus constantly taught to love, to take care of the sick, to feed the hungry and to cloth the naked.
Alright so, why does God let people be made or become homosexual? I can't tell you why for certain, but I have had this thought. I am a musician. I write songs, not for a living but it is something inside me that God gave me that just comes out. I have met some that couldn't sing a tune well if their life depended upon it. There always seems to be music playing in my mind, for that I am very thankful and I would find it hard to imagine living life walking around not having beautiful music playing in my head all the time. As such, I see many in this world right now that take love for granted. My heart is full of sorrow for all that get married but to whom divorce is the end result. I once had the opportunity to speak with an openly homosexual man. Years before coming back to my faith I heard him asked once if he desired to marry another man and his response was no. He explained that because of his sexual preference and what marriage stood for (he was a Christian man) that he realized marriage was not for him. To say the least I was amazed by someone who knew his faith so well and loved and respected God's wishes so much. So just as some of us write music for those that can't and so that all can enjoy, it could be possible for someone who cannot marry to take time to teach others that love should not be treated so frivolously but rather cherished, protected and nurtured for marriage is a gift not given to everyone.
We now live in a world that not only is constantly trying to tell us that everything is okay but that we should always get what we want. It's as if living by any kind of discipline is thrown out the window. Want to loose weight? Don't diet and exercise take this pill. Getting old but still want to have an active sex life? Take a pill. Want that car you don't have the money for borrow it and then take out a credit cards to pay the loan. Eat as much as you want, drink as much as you want , take drugs to get high and feel good. Have as much sex as you want and throw way anything that is of no use to you any more, and then you are hooked. In a life of excess you ever get enough. I remember a time when I was so busy feeding my desires that I could barely see that I was falling apart at the seams, and I was still never satisfied. Oh, and when it all came crashing down there was no one to help me, but there stood God, waiting. Once speaking to my mother I expressed how unhappy I was. I didn't tell her this but I felt like I was in a deep dark pit and every day I worked only to numb myself and ignore the pain. She asked if I had prayed about it. I laughed, I thought the idea was stupid and I kept on numbing myself. I explored every vice that seemed palatable, nothing. I felt empty as a lifeless cave. I had money, a nice car, women, a job and got drunk whenever I felt like it and, nothing. Nothing was worth anything, or so I thought. I was in the middle of "paradise" and it was all I could do from screaming at the top of my lungs until I cried. I moved switched, jobs, exercised and got healthy, nothing, but God stood there waiting. Then one day when I had enough I put my eyes to the sky and and asked for his help, God's help. It wasn't easy, the vices I indulged in didn't just melt away for me. Even now from time to time I get tempted hardcore to go back to things I once did, but God is by my side and as long as I stay focused on him I am okay.
I am nobody special or great. I am a sinner. I sin, I fall, I get up and ask for forgiveness. I visit my priest and go to confession. I receive guidance and help through consult and prayer. I live a stronger and better life. When life gets dicey, I have God and I am prepared. I have true peace and happiness like I haven't felt since I was a young boy. Even now in my worst hour when my world seems to be crashing down around me I have peace as long as I stick with God. He gets me through anything cause he loves me and by experience I know he will take care of me.
The fact is undeniable, we as humans long for meaningful relationships that make us feel whole, loved and that we belong. God is waiting to give that to each and every one of us.
So what does this mean?
If you experience homosexual desires you have free will. You can try and fill you life with immoral relationships or you can choose to try God's way. He loves everyone. He wants to show everyone a world full of love and experiences. All you have to do is accept him. He's waiting for you. While you may feel somber because you think you will be missing out on a lifelong love with someone you won't, it will just be with someone that you weren't expecting, God. For through his way is true love and happiness that will last an eternity, for this life is a mere bat of an eye. The life beyond is waiting. You just have to accept it. Will it be easy? At first no, it's like running a marathon, you don't just wake up one day and do it. You can try but you will probably fail. After living a life of sin it can be hard to live God's way. Don't worry, God knows you, God loves you and God understands you. He will be patient with you. It's a big reason why he sent his son Jesus, to establish the Church. In the Church you will find a support system waiting to help you with every question and obstacle on your road to heaven.
But let me pause for a second...
Let me ask for your patience. See like I said I am a sinner and so are all my Christian brothers and sisters. We have our bad days. We make mistakes, and some of the Christians you will meet will be on different points in their understanding of God and his ways. If you meet someone that treats you wrongly know this, I am sorry. Please forgive me, my brothers or sisters if we hurt you. Make no mistake God loves you, Jesus loves you and the Holy Spirit loves you. They all, including millions of my brothers and sisters in Christ want to share our faith and experience heaven with you. Please do not turn away from God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit because you meet someone that treats you poorly. Jesus came and died a horrible death on the cross for you, to take away all your sins. There is nothing that you have done that God will not forgive if you repent whole heartedly.
And that is why I love Caitlyn Jenner, because she is a child of God just like everyone else. I am no better or less than her. I pray that she finds her way to God through Jesus Christ. For after years of folly in the desert I have seen the way to true peace and everlasting life It is with God through Jesus with the help of the Holy Spirit. Though the world tests me day in and day out I try my best to live a life of love and understanding. I hope you find your way too.
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