How Strong am I?

 2 Mc 6:18-31

Eleazar, one of the foremost scribes,
a man of advanced age and noble appearance,
was being forced to open his mouth to eat pork.
But preferring a glorious death to a life of defilement,
he spat out the meat,
and went forward of his own accord to the instrument of torture,
as people ought to do who have the courage to reject the food
which it is unlawful to taste even for love of life.
Those in charge of that unlawful ritual meal took the man aside privately,
because of their long acquaintance with him,
and urged him to bring meat of his own providing,
such as he could legitimately eat,
and to pretend to be eating some of the meat of the sacrifice
prescribed by the king;
in this way he would escape the death penalty,
and be treated kindly because of their old friendship with him.
But Eleazar made up his mind in a noble manner,
worthy of his years, the dignity of his advanced age,
the merited distinction of his gray hair,
and of the admirable life he had lived from childhood;
and so he declared that above all
he would be loyal to the holy laws given by God.

He told them to send him at once
to the abode of the dead, explaining:
"At our age it would be unbecoming to make such a pretense;
many young people would think the ninety-year-old Eleazar
had gone over to an alien religion.
Should I thus pretend for the sake of a brief moment of life,
they would be led astray by me,
while I would bring shame and dishonor on my old age.
Even if, for the time being, I avoid the punishment of men,
I shall never, whether alive or dead,
escape the hands of the Almighty.
Therefore, by manfully giving up my life now,
I will prove myself worthy of my old age,
and I will leave to the young a noble example
of how to die willingly and generously
for the revered and holy laws."

Eleazar spoke thus,
and went immediately to the instrument of torture.
Those who shortly before had been kindly disposed,
now became hostile toward him because what he had said
seemed to them utter madness.
When he was about to die under the blows,
he groaned and said:
"The Lord in his holy knowledge knows full well that,
although I could have escaped death,
I am not only enduring terrible pain in my body from this scourging,
but also suffering it with joy in my soul
because of my devotion to him."
This is how he died,
leaving in his death a model of courage
and an unforgettable example of virtue
not only for the young but for the whole nation.

Wow, I read scripture such as these and pray that if I am ever in such a situation that I will be as righteous, but then questions come into my mind. What do you do when people speak badly about Christians in front of you? What do you do when you see someone in need on the side of the road? What do you do when you hear about a coworker dealing with a moral dilemma? I'll be honest some times I pass the test other times I do not.

Lk 19:1-10

At that time Jesus came to Jericho and intended to pass through the town.
Now a man there named Zacchaeus,
who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man,
was seeking to see who Jesus was;
but he could not see him because of the crowd,
for he was short in stature.
So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus,
who was about to pass that way.
When he reached the place, Jesus looked up and said,
"Zacchaeus, come down quickly,
for today I must stay at your house."
And he came down quickly and received him with joy.
When they saw this, they began to grumble, saying,
"He has gone to stay at the house of a sinner."
But Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord,
"Behold, half of my possessions, Lord, I shall give to the poor,
and if I have extorted anything from anyone
I shall repay it four times over."
And Jesus said to him,
"Today salvation has come to this house
because this man too is a descendant of Abraham.
For the Son of Man has come to seek
and to save what was lost."

Two things come to when I read these line, one is the simple song I learned in Sunday school, and the other is that I often feel like Zacchaeus. I feel unworthy to approach Jesus face to face. I "hide in a tree" and observe from afar. I long for Jesus, but feel unworthy to be in his presence. But deep down I know Jesus calls me like Zacchaeus everyday. He calls me to love others. He calls me to spend time with him. He calls me to learn from him. When I let Jesus in I feel wonderful. When I hold him out because I know I am doing something I shouldn't I eventually feel empty, dirty and unfulfilled. 

Jesus,

I love you. You treat me so well and your father has blessed me greatly. Help me to love like you do today. Help me to open up like Zacchaeus and be fair. Help me to no longer desire the pleasure of wealth. Help me to desire the joy of loving with all my heart. Help me to not fear the ridicule and pain and persecution of following your ways. Help me to realize that this life is a passing phase and that I should be more concerned on getting home to heaven.

In Jesus Christ's name I pray,

Amen