My Hard Work Get Me Where?

Romans 4:1-8

Brothers and sisters:
What can we say that Abraham found,
our ancestor according to the flesh?
Indeed, if Abraham was justified on the basis of his works,
he has reason to boast;
but this was not so in the sight of God.
For what does the Scripture say?
Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.
A worker's wage is credited not as a gift, but as something due.
But when one does not work,
yet believes in the one who justifies the ungodly,
his faith is credited as righteousness. 
So also David declares the blessedness of the person
to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven
and whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not record.

It's verses like these that give me pause, and sometimes make my ego sting. 

"...Indeed, if Abraham was justified on the basis of his works, he has reason to boast;
but this was not so in the sight of God..."

Wow, where do I go from here? I mean my entire life I was taught that I should earn my way. My father instilled from me at an early age that I get what I earn/deserve. With lines like these I want to take pause. I wonder, "Does what I do mean NOTHING?"

What you and I do does mean something. Jesus will judge us on our works and what's in our heart. He wants us to have faith and then he wants to see us put that faith in action and to try and love as he does, but what was lost on me for so long was how bad I was. Now, I've never been to jail, committed a felony or anything that would typically cast me as a bad person. So by society's standard I'm a good guy, but in God's eyes I am a young brat because I fall short of loving like he wants me to. That shook me up the first time I considered it. 

Luke 12:1-7

At that time:
So many people were crowding together 
that they were trampling one another underfoot.
Jesus began to speak, first to his disciples,
"Beware of the leaven–that is, the hypocrisy–of the Pharisees.

"There is nothing concealed that will not be revealed,
nor secret that will not be known.
Therefore whatever you have said in the darkness
will be heard in the light,
and what you have whispered behind closed doors
will be proclaimed on the housetops.
I tell you, my friends,
do not be afraid of those who kill the body
but after that can do no more.
I shall show you whom to fear.
Be afraid of the one who after killing
has the power to cast into Gehenna;
yes, I tell you, be afraid of that one.
Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins?
Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God.
Even the hairs of your head have all been counted.
Do not be afraid.
You are worth more than many sparrows."

In light of the first excerpt I see this one in a different light. 

"...that they were trampling one another underfoot..."

I'm just barely beginning to see what God sees now, and I wonder if anyone realized how deep and personally Jesus was talking to those around him. I read this as him saying, "Hey stop TRAMPLING EACH OTHER! I will stay here as long as it takes. You don't need to crush each other to get to me. God is watching you RIGHT NOW."

God is watching you right now. He's watching me too. What is he seeing? He sees it all. That my friend rocks me to my core, but Jesus reassures us here.

"...Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid..."

Jesus is telling us bluntly we are worth far more than we can imagine. I couldn't imagine trying to count all the hairs on my head. God has done already because he loves you that much. Jesus also tells us to not be afraid. In this day and age that's big, but do we hear it?

Jesus,

I love you and let me be honest. I am lost. I try to love like you do but I just get in the way of myself. Please forgive me. I beg of you. Please teach me. Help me to SLOW DOWN and to try and see things the way you do. Help me to love through everything. Help me to not fear. Help me to trust in you and your way. 

In Jesus Christ's name, 
Amen